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When we think of intimacy in terms of relationships, people’s first thoughts are to sex.
Sex is often nice or even wonderfully earth moving but it is also and often not intimate – although we may be physically close, in our heads we can be poles apart in our minds.
True intimacy is about trust and the understanding 2 people have with each other – although it’s not difficult for men to become more intimate with their wives or girlfriends, do they measure up?
Some would say there is no shortage of men who are willing to compliment women on a daily basis. The difference between them and your partner is that when he tells the woman he loves that she’s beautiful, it isn’t for ulterior motives.
He doesn’t tell a thousand women whatever they want to hear just to sleep with them. He is telling the woman he loves that, in that moment, she is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.
When you know he finds you so positively stunning — inside and out — you’ll never have to worry about him straying or his feelings faltering. Trust is the most intimate thing two people can share.
There’s plenty that can be said without words, but every woman wants to hear how much he loves you.
Receiving something physical means you can go back and reference whenever you miss him or feel uncertain of your love, and you’ll feel much more secure — and happier.
You shouldn’t expect a perfect piece of prose as the chances are he is not a poet. But a good love letter should just be his own words — spelling errors included — why you mean the world to him etc.
Hopefully it would be hand written so that when you look at the words, you feel that it’s a part of him.
One of the best ways to become more intimate with your lover, to get to know and understand him more deeply, is to take a long trip together. Not just a weekend — two weeks minimum.
Intimacy is all about getting physically and mentally close, and there is no better way to understand a man better than to throw yourselves into an irregular or uncommon situation.
People are very good at keeping up façades when they’re feeling comfortable when they’re surrounded by familiar surroundings.
He should take you both to a place in the middle of the unknown, the inexperienced. You’ll get to see each other at your most intimate and basic levels — the level at which he is forced to take in new information and then use that to make real-time judgments and decisions.
4. Take care of you when you’re sick and take care of him when he’s sick.
When you’re sick you are literally at your most vulnerable and let’s face it you are not going to be looking your best especially if you’re coughing up and spluttering everywhere.
This is the time your man should show his caring, forgiving side and accept you in your sickness never mind how miserable you are feeling, as miserable as you do.
You won’t be the most attractive or the most pleasant to be around but to become more intimate your partner has to accept you, not only at your most beautiful best, but also at your worst.
When your man is sick, he is, let’s face it, a lot more pathetic than you but too should be given the same caring treatment.
5. Sleep with you (without having sex).
Apparently it’s easy for a man to share a bed with a woman, whether he loves the woman or not. The harder part is not making a move when the beautiful woman next to him says she isn’t ready or she isn’t in the mood.
Embracing a woman tenderly with no intention of taking it further means his feelings extend past the normal libidinal urges he suffers from. Cuddling a woman because he loves her means needing to be close to her because it makes him happy.
6. Stare into each other’s eyes for extended periods of time.
There is little in the world that makes us feel more uncomfortable than extended periods of eye contact. They say that the eyes are the windows to our souls — and I don’t think they, whoever they may be, are wrong.
Looking deep into your lover’s eyes most likely won’t show his or your deepest inner secrets, but it will show you how comfortable the two of you are with each other.
7. Arrange to meet the family. (or maybe not!)
A person is not just a person. He’s a combination of all the people he was influenced by growing up — primarily, family. We base all our relationships in life on the relationships we have with our family members.
They are our oldest relationships, and because we formed them in our earliest years, they greatly shaped the way we perceive interpersonal interaction and relationships.
8. Spend the holidays together.
Human beings are creatures that focus much of their energy on holding on to traditions. Sadly, this makes progress incredibly difficult as no one especially enjoys change.
However, there is much to be said about the importance of healthy traditions.
Keep in mind that the traditions he has now are more than likely the traditions that he’ll want to pass down to you and the children you have together.
9. Suggest doing absolutely nothing.
The most intimate thing two people can ever do is absolutely nothing. Consider how difficult it is for most of us to do nothing at all on our own. We feel restless, uncomfortable, bored.
Now, imagine lying next to the love of your life and not doing anything other than sucking in the reality around you, breathing in the moment and each other.
Intimacy doesn’t just involve action. It doesn’t just involve the attainment of information or better understanding.
The purest form of intimacy is simply living together — not living in the sense of sharing an apartment, but living in the sense of breathing and listening to your heart beat.
If you and the man you love feel comfortable doing nothing at all together then you’ll likely feel comfortable with just about everything else.